dumblydoor:

i just say things and hope they’re socially acceptable

egberts:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh

I DROPPED THE KETCHUP AND SCREAMED IN SHOCK AND THEN MY BROTHER CAME IN AND THOUGHT IT WAS BLOOD AND SCREAMED TOO AND WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING AT KETCHUP